7/31/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Shockwave part 1"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E26
Air Date: May 22, 2002
Written by: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Directed by: Allan Kroeker

Premise
After accidentally exploding an entire colony, Enterprise almost calls it quits until Redshirt Daniels comes to save the day by explaining the past and spoiling the future!

Review
Ok, follow me here: first I want to stress that the average Trekkie does not hate women. In fact, true fans of Star Trek would probably be the first to stand up for women's rights. When it became culturally unacceptable to use the masculine pronoun in the generic sense, we changed it to "where no one has gone before." We put a black female on the first bridge and eventually, when we found the right actor, put a female in the captain's chair. So when I tell you that Captain Archer was preparing to meet a colony with a matriarchal society, I beg the reader to understand that it's really not our fault when this colony is completely wiped out by a spark in their combustible atmosphere. It was a fluke in the system! The misguided product of a series that should never have been written! And probably a cue that the writing team behind Enterprise really had no idea how to write for a matriarchal society.

7/29/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Two Days and Two Nights"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E25
Written by: Chris Black
Directed by: Michael Dorn (WORF.)

Premise
The crew of the Enterprise finally gets some shore leave. But all things on Risa are not as they seem. (Ok, so I phoned in the premise punchline, so what? The rest of the episode is hilarious in itself)

Review
It's been hinted at for a couple of episodes now, and Archer finally gets to go on shore leave with Trip, Reed, Hoshi and Mayweather. Now, I don't know about you, but if this was the case for me, I wouldn't hesitate to go down and enjoy myself. But Archer spends the teaser section complaining about how it doesn't seem fair that he gets to rest while half the crew still has to work. T'Pol assures him it's fair - that everyone drew lots and had an equal chance of going - and pushes him out the airlock.

7/24/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Desert Crossing"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E24
Air Date: May 8, 2002
Written by: André Bormanis
Directed by: David Straiton

Premise
Zobral, a friendly alien from a desert world, invites Archer and Trip to his planet for a game of space lacrosse with a little bit of revolution on the side.

Review
Archer just wants to get to Risa for some R&R. Can you blame him? But NOOOOOOOOOOO... just as he's making more plans, they get a distress signal. Hopefully it won't take long, right?

7/23/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Fallen Hero"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E23
Air Date: May 8, 2002
Written by: Alan Cross
Directed by: Patrick Noris

Premise
Vulcan ambassador V'Lar rips Enterprise out of her shore leave plans by insisting on a ride back to Vulcan because apparently she's broken some sort of law on the planet she was visiting.

Review
It starts as a conversation around the dinner table with T'Pol, Archer and Trip. T'Pol has asked whether any of the humans have had sex in a while and Archer and Trip nearly cough up their food. And so shore leave is planned. Incidentally, during this little back-and-forth Trip has to be reminded that Vulcans only mate once every seven years. C'mon, writers, pay attention! He already asked about that during the Vulcan Hippies episode! I doubt very much that it's something he's likely to forget.

7/22/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Vox Sola"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E22
Air Date: May 1, 2002
Written by: Fred Dekker
Directed by: Roxann Dawson

Premise
Spider-Man shoots some webbing at the Enterprise and it grows a mind of its own.

Review
We start out trying to learn the language of a new species who seems to be extremely insulted for some reason. The universal translator isn't working with their language, however, so Hoshi and Archer are having a very difficult time trying to figure out why they're angry. Eventually, the aliens leave, but before the airlock closes, a white, web-like, parasitic life form sneaks through the door. It's like the opposite of the parasite that creates Venom and Black-Suit Spider-Man. And it looks just like webbing. So, basically, the only one who can save the day is Peter Parker. And he's all the way back on Earth.

7/18/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Detained"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E21
Air Date: April 24, 2002
Written by: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Directed by: David Livingston

Premise
Al returns with Ziggy to give Sam some news he finds hard to swallow! Travis and Archer, having accidentally entered a militarized zone, find themselves imprisoned with several Suliban who eventually become friends.

Review
When Travis wakes up in a jail cell, he has no idea where he is or where he got there. Because, apparently, standard practice for the Tandarans when attacking a trespassing shuttlepod is to knock out the pilot and passengers before bringing them in for questioning. A quick search, however, leads him to discover that they are in the middle of some sort of colony of Suliban. They look around some more, but it doesn't take long to figure out that they're in a kind of prison. Eventually a guard finds them and instructs them to follow him. And then guess who they find...

7/17/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Oasis"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E20
Air Date: April 3, 2002
Written by: Stephen Beck
Directed by: Jim Charleston

Premise
The crew of the Enterprise find what they believe to be an abandoned starship that they can scavenge for parts and then meet its ghostly inhabitants.

Review
We start of having dinner with an alien of unknown origin named D'Marr who's completely unimportant to anything except that he passes along information to Archer and the senior officers. ...Hm... That would make a good band name.
Live from Deep Space Station K-7, Archer and the Senior Officers!

7/16/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Acquisition"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E19
Air Date: March 27, 2002
Written by: Maria & André Jacquemetton
Directed by: James Whitmore, Jr.

Premise
A crazy, "unknown" huge-eared alien race knocks out the entire crew of the Enterprise in order to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer their weasely black guts out.

Review
The first shot of this episode is of something that shouldn't be there. A Ferengi crew. Now, maybe it's just me... and maybe it's because I haven't watched all of Deep Space Nine yet, but I was under the impression that when Picard met the Ferengi in "The Last Outpost," they were relatively new to space travel. That would mean that here, more than two hundred years earlier, they would still be a pre-warp civilization. But here they are... drooling over the adrift Enterprise NX-01 like it's made entirely out of gold-pressed latinum.

7/10/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Rogue Planet"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E18
Air Date: March 20, 2002
Written by: Chris Black
Directed by: Allan Kroeker

Premise
On a rogue planet where it is eternally night time, Archer has visions of a stunningly beautiful slug girl.

Review
While Archer is attempting to pose for a picture that Trip is taking, T'Pol mentions that they are about to run smack-dab into a rogue planet because space is so small that you could run into just about anything. This isn't the first rogue planet we've seen in Star Trek. The idea is that the planet has broken out of its orbit around a sun and gone adrift. One such planet belonged to my favorite non-canonical Q-in-training, Trelane, in the Original Series episode "The Squire of Gothos". This, however, is the first rogue planet that naturally supported diversified life due to a series of hot gas vents.
"Pumba, with you everything's gas."

7/9/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Fusion"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E17
Air Date: February 27, 2002
Written by: Phyllis Strong & Mike Sussman
Directed by: Rob Hedden

Premise
The Enterprise comes across a group of emotional Vulcans who don't try to take them to Sha Ka Ree.

Review
We start in Archer's room where he's showing T'Pol a text book he's kept since he was a kid. (I don't know about you, but as soon as school's over for me, those books are the last things on my mind.) This book shows a picture of the Arachnid Nebula, which Archer explains that he's been looking forward to seeing up close and in person. He holds the picture up to his screen which is presumably showing a live picture of the nebula and smiles. And T'Pol rolls her eyes. As she looks at the first page of the book she sees it belongs to "Admiral Johnny Archer." D'AAAAWWWWWWW

7/8/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Dear Doctor"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E13
Air Date: January 23, 2002
Written by: Maria & André Jacquemetton
Directed by: James A. Contner

Premise
Dr. Phlox, who is in the middle of recording a message to a human "pen pal" on his home planet, attempts to treat a planet-wide disease that seems to be affecting only one of two humanoid species.

Review
While attempting taking care of the many animals Phlox keeps in his sickbay, Hoshi comes in with a message for him. Because apparently they don't have the technology to send the message directly to sickbay. And if that weren't anachronistic enough, Hoshi goes talking about how she used to have a pen pal. That's right. Hundreds of years after the invention of the Internet, Hoshi had a pen pal. Thankfully, this is where the terribleness ends.

7/5/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Shuttlepod One"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E16
Air Date: February 13, 2002
Written by: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Directed by: David Livingston

Premise
After finding wreckage on a large asteroid of what appears to be the Enterprise, Trip and Reed assume it crashed and burned and head off in their shuttlepod toward the nearest starbase.

Review
Reed and Trip are on their way back from surveying an asteroid field and, apparently, the sensors and communications are down in the shuttlepod. Which is unfortunate, because when they spot the remains of a wreck on a large asteroid with the markings of Enterprise on them, they have no way of knowing that it's not actually Enterprise. Cue sad trombone. Although, now that I think of it, Trip should know that ship like the back of his hand! He should be able to tell the difference between Enterprise rubble and alien ship rubble with a bit of Enterprise mixed in! For shame, Trip. Just one more reason you're not Scotty.

7/3/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Shadows of P'Jem"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E15
Air Date: February 6, 2002
Written by: Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong
Directed by: Mike Vejar

Premise
The Smurfs with UHF reception return to repay their debt to Archer who had inadvertently gotten caught in the middle of an alien planet's civil war.

Review
We open on a very angry Vulcan who explains that the Temple of P'Jem, remember the one that was housing a Vulcan spy station, had been destroyed by the Andorians. As a result, the Vulcans blame Captain Archer and wish to end joint missions between Vulcan and Earth and bring T'Pol back home. Basically, they're sore losers.

7/1/11

Star Trek: Asterisk "Sleeping Dogs"

Vital Information
Series: Enterprise
Episode: S01E14
Air Date: January 30, 2002
Written by: Fred Dekker
Directed by: Les Landau

Premise
Enterprise finds a disabled ship sinking into a huge gas giant planet, boards it to save the inhabitants and takes in a huge whiff of Klingon stank.

Review
I'll get this out of the way first thing: I unintentionally skipped over the episode "Dear Doctor." I will definitely have to revisit that next week because I <3 Phlox and I'm pretty much just assuming it's about him.

As for this episode, though, I was kind of hooked off the bat. I have a bit of a thing for space stories that imitate deep-sea stories. And one of the first things we hear in this episode is whale song. Well... something very similar to whale song.