2/14/12

Star Trek: Asterisk "Miri"

Vital Information
Series: The Original Series
Episode: S01E08
Air Date: October 27, 1966
Written by: Adrian Spies
Directed by: Vincent McEveety

Premise
Upon finding a backup copy of Earth, the crew of the Enterprise race to find the cure to a disease that killed off anyone over puberty.

Review
It wouldn't be the first time the Enterprise has come across an "old style" Earth-like radio distress call, but it would be the first time it came from a planet that was exactly like Earth in every possible way... except that it's been abandoned. When the away team beams down, they find that it's exactly like Earth in the 1960's that has been abandoned for 300 years. And the only mystery we get to solve today is why it has been abandoned.

So, imagine if, in the 1960's, we, as a human race, started working on a life prolongation formula, and it worked, except anyone past puberty turns into a rage zombie and dies. Well, that's basically what happened on this planet. The first thing that the away team meets on this planet is one of the rage zombies who tries to attack before keeling over and dying. But they really start to get to the bottom of things when Kirk finds Miri hiding in a closet. That's when Bones examines her and finds the virus. And that's when she falls in love with Kirk.
Can you feel the love tonight?!
While Kirk tries to explain to Miri that it's just a little crush, Spock goes around the city and tries to find more kids. But the kids find him and throw stuff at him. This group of kids suspect the grown-ups of trying to take over and possibly kill them maybe. But while their brains may be over 300 years old, they still haven't developed common sense yet. This is the most annoying group of prepubescent scoundrels that have ever graced the small screen with their presence.
And they're lead by a clone of Patton Oswalt.
So, in short, Kirk and the crew have to come up with a cure before they die, all the while fighting off the paranoid delusions of a society of children. The "Onlies", as they call themselves, make matters worse by stealing the landing party's communicators which were the only connection they had with the ship's computers which they need in order to find a cure. To top it off, Miri, becoming jealous of Janice Rand, plots with the Onlies to kidnap her so that Miri can have some "alone time" with the captain.

Well, that hangs it. Maybe he's being a little too affected by the virus, but Kirk's hormones are in a rage, and he's got to get Janice back. Also the communicators. Right. Yeah. He barges into the Onlies' hideout and starts taking charge, like they knew he would do. They start chanting "BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!" and Kirk, clearly more frustrated than one should ever be with a child (but justifiably so) yells awkwardly "NO BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!"
And also no dignity!
Well, when Kirk returns with the communicators, he finds that Bones has gone and injected himself with the experimental vaccine that he needed the communicators in order to test. So, ya know... good job spending some time with the kids, Kirk. Now Bones is unconscious, but his blemishes from the virus are fading. So, overall success?

When they are cured, they return to the ship, leave a medical team with the kids and make some kind of joke about how much Kirk loves Janice. Then they're off on their merry way... without a care in the world that there is a second friggin Earth hanging out in space.

Overall Thoughts
There is just so much left unanswered in this episode. I mean, forget the fact that there is an extra backup of Earth; Why haven't these kids learned anything in the 300 years they've had to develop useful skills? How were they unable to figure out that grownups get the disease? Do they all suffer from some mental disorder, or do I just expect more intelligence out of children than Adrian Spies does? I have to admit, I don't particularly care for this episode. They can't all be gems, folks.