9/14/16

Green Onion: Intradimensional Nazis Pleased with State of American Politics

In an alternate universe where Hitler's Third Reich won World War II, it took almost a century to perfect intradimensional travel. With an eye toward spreading the Nazi agenda across the multiverse, Nazi scientists visited our universe first and were pleased to find that, although they hadn't won the War, their agenda is alive and well.

"We were sure that in a multiverse of infinite possibilities, it was a certainty that, in some of these universes, The F├╝hrer was not as successful," said Dr. Heinz head of the Intradimensional Expansion Project, speaking clear English with a heavy German accent. "Our goal was to sway the minds of politicians from the inside, however it would appear that this work has already been done."

Dr. Heinz explained that uniting Germany under a charismatic leader and closing it off to undesirables was crucial to their eventual expansion efforts and, on their Earth, at least 89% of the remaining habitable landmass is owned by the Nazi regime. He expects that, after Donald Trump wins the American presidency, this line of thought will become mainstream and will perfectly situate America for an open dialog about converting to Naziism.

"We will have to expedite our timetable a little," Dr. Heinz continued, "We had expected that a proper conversion effort would take 12-15 years. With this new information, we now expect to take over this America by the end of the year 2020." Heinz cited the speed at which Hitler gained power as a precedent for this timeline.

The alternate Germany plans on sending troops to our America  by the end of 2017 to begin the open dialog.