Series: The Original Series
Air Date: October 27, 1966
Written by: Adrian Spies
Directed by: Vincent McEveety
Upon finding a backup copy of Earth, the crew of the Enterprise race to find the cure to a disease that killed off anyone over puberty.
It wouldn't be the first time the Enterprise has come across an "old style" Earth-like radio distress call, but it would be the first time it came from a planet that was exactly like Earth in every possible way... except that it's been abandoned. When the away team beams down, they find that it's exactly like Earth in the 1960's that has been abandoned for 300 years. And the only mystery we get to solve today is why it has been abandoned.
So, imagine if, in the 1960's, we, as a human race, started working on a life prolongation formula, and it worked, except anyone past puberty turns into a rage zombie and dies. Well, that's basically what happened on this planet. The first thing that the away team meets on this planet is one of the rage zombies who tries to attack before keeling over and dying. But they really start to get to the bottom of things when Kirk finds Miri hiding in a closet. That's when Bones examines her and finds the virus. And that's when she falls in love with Kirk.
|Can you feel the love tonight?!|
|And they're lead by a clone of Patton Oswalt.|
Well, that hangs it. Maybe he's being a little too affected by the virus, but Kirk's hormones are in a rage, and he's got to get Janice back. Also the communicators. Right. Yeah. He barges into the Onlies' hideout and starts taking charge, like they knew he would do. They start chanting "BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!" and Kirk, clearly more frustrated than one should ever be with a child (but justifiably so) yells awkwardly "NO BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!"
|And also no dignity!|
When they are cured, they return to the ship, leave a medical team with the kids and make some kind of joke about how much Kirk loves Janice. Then they're off on their merry way... without a care in the world that there is a second friggin Earth hanging out in space.
There is just so much left unanswered in this episode. I mean, forget the fact that there is an extra backup of Earth; Why haven't these kids learned anything in the 300 years they've had to develop useful skills? How were they unable to figure out that grownups get the disease? Do they all suffer from some mental disorder, or do I just expect more intelligence out of children than Adrian Spies does? I have to admit, I don't particularly care for this episode. They can't all be gems, folks.